Okay so I’m doing this on my phone because I’m lazy af to turn my laptop on. And I already know there’s gonna be a ton of grammar issues. But you know fuck it. Life is fucking full of issues. Woow that escalated fast. Let’s tone down the bitch mode a bit.
After taking a couple of deep breaths I have come to the conclusion that I will not let a person bring me down for whatever reason. Yes, I will be frustrated, mad, sad, fucking pissed off to the point that my body is literally steaming of heat like a mother fucking Titan (sorry I’ve been watching a ton of Attack on Titan). But those are temporary like most things in life. This honestly might be the best thing that has ever happened to me because I have never felt so present in life. Lately, I’ve been feeling so dormant and this whole experience as much it sucks balls has finally woken me up. I need to get moving on life. On my life. To be the best version of myself so I can make a difference in a person’s life whether it’s with family or a complete stranger. I have truly forgotten the truth behind my blog title. Carpe mother fucking diem. For a while I have been letting moments seize me instead of me taking it all in. Yes, there are instances where you let a moment seize you. Moments where it just doesn’t need to be questioned or second guessed because it’s too overwhelming and beautiful. But moments and opportunities need to be seized. That’s what I need to do. To take charge in my life because I need to move forward. Doesn’t matter how slow you are in your path and doesn’t matter how you do it. You just can’t allow yourself to be stuck and do absolutely nothing, sitting idly by while life zooms past you. No. Seize those mother fucking balls of opportunities and let yourself grow into the person you are meant to be. I don’t know how much time it’ll take or hard it’s going to be from here. Not going to lie but I know some days are going to totally suck. But it’ll be worth it in the end. Over and over I have been in this situation and I let it bring myself down. I let it consume my whole being, beating and blaming myself. Did I do something wrong? What if I have done things differently? Is there something wrong with me? Uh uh. Not this time. Just because something sad and tragic has happened doesn’t mean you have let your emotions consume you. We all got a choice. To either let yourself down for the millionth time or let it be a driving force that fuels you to break free. To the person who has broken my heart, you know who you are. I may not agree with the way you do and see things, but thank you for everything and most especially for breaking me. You have showed me that I am capable of love again. But most of all, you have started a fire in me that’s going to push me to become the best version of myself. You are the lesson that’s going to make it all count. A lesson that I absolutely can’t let my happiness and my life be affected by some meager heart break. So I’m fucking tipping my hat to you and I hope you have a mother effin good life.
Well great. I’m single again.
I hate it when I seem like a huge bitch, because I’m really not.
Guys all I’ve been watching for a week now is Sword Art Online and Attack on Titan. O_______o